Morbid but awesome!

July 29, 2008

I long ago decided I wanted to donate my body to science.  Hey, I’m dead, who cares if med students are cutting me up?

However, if I at some point change my mind, I want one of these. They’re environmentally friendly and FUN!  If I’m being buried abroad, I’d really like the Stars & Stripes one.  So some corner of a foreign field is forever totally, awesomely American.  I also quite like the box of wine.  I mean, I expect anyone at my actual funeral to be three sheets to the wind and laughing hysterically about all the good times anyway.  If they’re not, they’re not okay with that, they’re not allowed at the site.  Just sayin’.

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Morning Television Homesickness

July 23, 2008

Some days I get very homesick for the States. Some days I’m visiting my favorite websites and come across something like this and say to myself, “Well, God damn! If you lived in the States you could at least get to see Diane Sawyer be ballsy and stick her feet in a tank of fish instead of watching the crazy chick on GMTV.” Yeah, that’s GMTV as in Good Morning Television. While the Today show and the View might be hosted by some annoying chicks, they’re nowhere near as annoying as the chick who’s on GMTV. Count your blessings, Americans. At least Whoopi’s there to put the annoying blonde in her place.